Not just an ordinary smile

I am just sitting here thinking about what really makes me happy these days. Well, I thought of your face. More than that though. Your smiling face.




It amazes me. I am thinking, like, I used to watch football, play sports - basically had a totally different life before you. You have really done a number on me, I thank you for that. Now, I have steady prayer, scripture, real conversations, board games, visiting friends, a partner to go to church with, I'm actually road biking, mountain biking, I'm actually running, no more TV or addictions to the internet, instead I get to have long phone conversations with you or seeing new friends (from your life - BC), I no longer dwell in my sadness, not to say I do not have sad times now, but I can share them with someone I can trust. I have so many pictures, notes; my hand hates to be alone. But back to your smile... I wish I could express what it does to me. It brightens my day, it drives me crazy, it makes all things seem small. Humm, sounds like God has something to do with this huh? You support me, serve me, live in "it" with me, get excited with me, PAUSE, there you are calling... (smile)

Dealing with struggle

I have to say that I have the best person in my life to share things with, ashley sartaine! I love her. We had a tough afternoon dealing with jobs, motivation and other tough stuff. Anyway, we met back up at Sunergos around 4 and were able to talk about what we each dealt with and felt hurt about. It was right, good and a blessing. Its a blessing because when sharing with her I can really tell all, from my heart. There are just some people you cannot get deep with and I am very happy to say Ashley is my person where I can. It is very God honoring to work thru circumstances that effect each other and its amazing how it works when we both are dealing with sin. It realy shows God's control in our lives. I am so blessed that God created someone like her to, one, deal with me, and two, be so sacrificial, in her time, in her finances, and in her spirit. Its awesome! God's awesome and Ashley is my "keeps."

You can't teach this

The past few days have ben very stressful to say the least. But today I never woke to feel more loved. More needed and more served... all in the same day. Wow, even thru all this junk going on (more on this later). Ashley called me this morning to give her n old fashion pep talk. I was able to read to her and help get her ready for the day. After our phone call I kept on reading, getting my weekly email ready for Advent for my family. I ran across some good scripture I had to share with ashley, really for me in y day but it ended up being something she reeally needed. It was 1 Cor 15 (if I remember right) about Gods grace and its strength in our weakness. So my day went on and I picked up her from the mall (her mom is in town to do some shopping), and she had dinner for me, serving, and we headed to a meeting. We met with a local advertising guy, home-based, and got some real good inspirational stuff from him. Then we split up again, plans were for me to go on the job hunt more and Ashley was going to workout. Well, I get to find out that she actually spent some much needed time with God instead of distracting herself by working out. Awesome growth! So we had community group tonight and it was good, fun with Anna and good fellowship, as usual. Then we both came to my place, I showed her some of the jobs I applied for and we talked relationship. Plans were to watch a few episodes of Lost but we both were draggin', so Ashley left to go to bed. But to end the night we talked about life, God and family. Then we prayed and I started to read. It was great, Ashley warned me she was crashing hard. But I kept reading and I ended up reading to myself cause I looked at my phone and she was not responding. This is a first I put her to slepp with my soothing reading, my mumbles finally put her to rest. It felt kinda nice really. I hung up and thanked God for her. She is great and I am in love (and you can't teach this) and engage to be married.